Hello everyone! I was strolling Tumblr a few days ago (especially the ones owned by my friends) when I found this. Koray Moszkav posted a very interesting essay about bisexuality. Now I know a lot of people think that bisexuality is a myth, that you are either straight or gay. Well, Koray explained very well why these people were wrong. I just loved it and asked him he I could post it on my blog, and he agreed. So here it is. And thank you Koray for allowing me to share it!
I get a lot of questions about my sexuality, not the least being “Wait, aren’t you gay?”
And the answer is: No, I am not gay. I am a man, married very happily to another man (he IS gay, but that is not the point.) I am bisexual, which means I like men and women. My marriage didn’t lock in my desires to one gender, it just happens I met a person who makes me very happy, and they happen to be male.
I still love to look at women, and talk to women and see them in a sexual manner. (No, women are not sex objects, I am making a point about my desires.) My best friend is a woman and she is fucking gorgeous. Since my husband and I occasionally bring others into our bed, I even still have sex with women, and I love it just as much as I love sex with my husband.
This is not to say that I need to be sexually involved with both genders. I do not need it, but I do enjoy it. I am happily married, and we are not polyamorous.
But men and women are different, and here’s where my BIsexuality shows. I like hard men. Manly men. Muscles and happy trails and scruffy chins. RAWR! But I also like soft women. Plush, curvy, a little rounded through her legs and up to her breasts. I like stretch marks and all those perfect imperfections that tell you the story of a woman’s body.
I’m not attracted to many androgynous or trans people. Sorry. You can still be a beautiful person on the inside, I will still like you, but you probably won’t be my choice in bed partner. That is the realm of PANsexuality, which is another misunderstood area of the GLBTQ umbrella, and it’s not me.
Another question I get is “Why did you marry a man?”
Answer: I love him, we make each other happy.
And the last question I will address today is “What’s the difference between dating guys and dating girls?”
Woah. Ok, first keep in mind the kind of people I am attracted to. My “types” involved. The first difference is, GIRLS are higher maintenance. They take longer in the bathroom, their hormones are always fluctuating, they need this whole ritual in Order to go out or have sex or… well, anything.
Secondly, and this is highly personalized here, GUYS are easier to relate to. As a guy, I have a certain way I think and a process to move from one emotion to another. Most guys have a similar process. Girls have a different process that guys are incapable of understanding. (We may smile and say “Yes, it’s ok. You’re not crazy.” But we are LYING.) If I see pizza, my brain goes “Cool. Food. I can eat, sure.” I do not stop to count ANYTHING. Calories, carbs, fat, protein, IDC.
Third thing, very trivial, but if something pops in my head as a sexy thing to do to entice my husband, odds are he will find it sexy. Wake up with an erection? Easy: slide his hand over it and (if i’m a good boy,) he will help me with my kickstand dilemma. He looks like he’s working to hard? Bring him a beer and crawl under the table to give him head. That’s a GREAT idea with a guy. Girls? Not as much. They have a different idea of romance.
Another thing is smell. Guys sweat. I run with my husband when I can, and I LOVE the smell of him when he’s done with a workout. Pre-shower. I want all over that, when his male pheromones are floating around and the testosterone is high, I long to crawl over him and rediscover every sweaty inch. (The adrenalin is usually pumping, which ups the sex drive too, so he usually lets me. Win/Win.) With girls, my experience is that you have to shower and re-dress and re-colonge and by the time that’s all done, the adrenalin is gone and I’m kinda tired. (I did just workout after all.) So being with a man, to me, is more sexually spontaneous.
Which is not to say I don’t love women. I really do. I love taking the time to romance her on the dance floor, to cook for her and bring her pretty things. I love telling her how beautiful she is and making her believe it every morning.
But the fact remains, they are different.